The fundamental conceit of the philosophy of natural childbirth is that it recapitulates childbirth in nature. But there’s nothing natural about books, courses, hired attendants, birth pools and refusing available pain relief. The ultimate irony of the philosophy of natural childbirth is that it isn’t about the physiology of birth but rather about the monetization of birth.
In nature, mothers were attended for free by wise women, family and friends. They purchased neither goods nor services. Childbirth, although occasionally deadly, was always free.
[pullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]There is not a single aspect of pregnancy and childbirth that has not been monetized by natural childbirth purveyors of goods and services.[/pullquote]
Consider childbirth in the 1950’s. Women gave birth in hospitals that charged money, attended by doctors who charged money. There was nothing else to purchase.
Consider the philosophy of natural childbirth in 2018. The opportunity for spending — indeed the mandate for spending — is virtually limitless. Nearly every single aspect of “natural” birth has been transmuted into an opportunity for conspicuous consumerism.
Birth attendant:
This is where you may be required to spend the big bucks.
For many, it isn’t enough to hire a doctor or hospital, typically paid for by an insurance company. “Natural” childbirth often involves hiring a homebirth/birth center midwife who charges thousands of dollars. But that’s just the beginning.
Even if you give birth in a hospital attended by a hospital based midwife, you must have a doula, a woman paid hundreds of dollars out of pocket for nothing more than pretending to be your friend and helping you avoid unnatural interventions.
Birth location:
If you prefer to give birth outside the hospital, you may have to pay for a birth center, possibly thousands of dollars out of pocket. If you are planning to give birth at home, you will need to purchase a birth kit, rent a birth pool, and purchase a birth ball or similar paraphernalia.
Education:
Often you must pay for childbirth education out of pocket, too. Obstetricians don’t provide childbirth education. Typically neither midwives nor doulas provide childbirth education as part of their fee for attending the birth.
Educational materials:
At a minimum you must buy books to “prepare” yourself and your partner for your natural experience and perhaps a hypnobirthing course as well. Midwives, doulas and childbirth educators offer online courses at a cost of hundreds of dollars to create the ideal mindset for the optimal birth experience.
Supplements and services:
During your “natural” pregnancy, your midwife may recommend the purchase of herbs, supplements, tinctures and teas. You might “need” cranio-sacral therapy both before birth, for example to encourage a breech baby to turn.
Birth photographer:
Obviously you are going to memorialize your unmedicated birth for your admirers on Facebook. What’s the point of having an unmedicated birth if not to brag about it? (The point is the baby? Be serious! That is not enough).
The photographer will cost hundreds, perhaps thousands of dollars. And don’t forget the photo sessions to show off your bump in late pregnancy, dressed up as a goddess. Of course a videographer is even better for recording the birth instead of or in addition to the birth photographer, and that’s even more expensive.
Belly art, belly casts, etc.
Everything is an opportunity to hire “professionals” and spend money!
The placenta:
They just throw it away in the hospital. Instead they could be monetizing it by encapsulating it, or making placenta prints and umbilical cord jewelry.
More goods and services:
You’ll need a private lactation consultant to teach you to feed your baby naturally, not to mention more cranio-sacral therapy to “adjust” you and your baby after your agonizing ordeal blissful experience.
The bottom line is that if you have insurance, a hospital birth with every possible technological intervention (or none) will cost you nothing. A “natural” birth will costs you hundreds, possibly thousands, possibly many thousands of dollars. That’s because there is not a single aspect of pregnancy and childbirth that has not been monetized by natural childbirth advocates. It’s almost as if natural childbirth is really about enriching purveyors rather than giving birth as nature intended. Ironic, isn’t it?
