Ten:
One to teach the course “Empower yourself by changing your own light bulb.”
One to whisper affirmations encouraging the light bulb to be in the correct position.
One to photograph the event.
One to tweet the event live.
One to fill the plastic kiddie pool. (Note: professional electricians claim that standing in water while changing a light bulb is dangerous, but they just say that to ruin your light bulb changing experience.)
One to call 911 if you get electrocuted while standing in water while changing the light bulb.
One to reassure you that people get electrocuted changing light bulbs even when they are not standing in water, so you shouldn’t let the warnings of those stupid electricians scare you.
One to help you eat while changing the light bulb in order to keep up your strength.
One to tell you to turn the bulb only when you get the urge.
And finally, one to actually change the light bulb and pretend to have an orgasm while doing it.
This piece first appeared in April 2010.
